I've been feeling scared to write here. Scared to tell you that we had Spinner tested and he tested in the 99.999 percentile. Scared to tell you that we were told that his current school cannot cater for him and that there are only a couple of schools in the state that can. Scared to tell you that there is no point accelerating him to grade four because he has the reading level of a child over 16 years and comprehension to match. (We don't know his exact verbal IQ because he hit the ceiling on the test - we would have to go to Sydney to have him completely tested and that is not going to happen.)
I'm scared that you will think that I am one of those mothers who think that their child's "giftedness" is a reflection of their own worth as a person. I'm scared that you will think that I think my child is somehow "better" than yours. Those kind of parents disgust me and yet they do exist. I come across them all the time - bragging, performing, shouting to all and sundry about their child's supposed brilliance. As if anyone gives a fuck.
But most of all I'm scared for Spinner. How do we walk this narrow path? How do we ensure that he grows up to be a well-rounded, healthy and happy person? How do we keep his inquisitive, beautiful soul from being soiled and sullied?
It would be an understatement to say that there are many days when I wonder if I am up to the task of raising my children. My cup overfloweth.
Thursday, 6 December 2007
Scared
Posted by Em at 4:18 PM
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13 comments:
So what's the next step? Will you be able to switch him to one of the schools capable of meeting his needs, or are they too far away?
I understand that fear. I think it's important to acknowledge that you are doing your best for your kids and that is what matters most. I'm sure Spinner will look back in 10 years and be thankful for what you're doing now. Hang on to that.
C (husband) is a genius and I have wondered if A is going to be gifted. I've seen signs but I too am reluctant to talk about it for the reasons you mention. From what C tells me, Spinner is going to need your help and advocacy just as much as Willow does.
Welcome back btw!
I think Spinner is a great kid, and as long as you take his lead, you guys will get through this just fine.
And, it is kind of neat, you know. A challenge? Yes. But also a blessing.
There was something in the The Australian magazine a few months back about a family with three gifted sons. The thing that struck me was the comment that what their parents always emphasized was the importance of being a good, kind person. Intelligence was always a secondary kind of an issue.
I have no idea how you even begin to cope with that news - it does seem scary to me, but no-one who reads this blog would ever think you are a bragging kind of a person - but maybe to some extent gifted kids need all of the same things other kids need: loving and strong and thoughtful parents, and you're so obviously all those things.
I guess you just be thankful for what you have and go with the flow and not put pressure on yourself to be perfect (I'm reminding myself of this right now, too!)
what a lovely post. how we choose to respond to the things life hands us allows us to continue to evolve, just as you are doing here.
You are allowed to be scared. But this is YOUR space. So it is safe. Safe to be scared, angry, blissed out, or anywhere in between. We are just lucky lurkers, witnesses to the wisdom of your journey.
I have no answers for you. But I honor you in this time of unknowing.
xoxo
Leigh
Such a well written post. You are such a fabulous Mum who has shown so much strength in your efforts for your children. A loving and nuturing family will ensure a happy child....just what you are doing.
I am glad you are back. You offer such a huge amount to this community. Trust your inner judgement on the issue with Spinner, it seems to be working for you so far, whether it feels that way from the inside or not.
After all you've shared with us over the last year or so, I don't think anyone would think you were bragging about your gifted child. I hope that Spinner gets the supports he needs to be well-rounded in all areas of his life.
The fact that you are worried about how he will cope shows are totally in-tune you are to his needs. Keep seeking answers because it looks like you've got a great support system here. You will find the way that is best for your family. Hugs.
I so know where you are coming from. My advice is to find a support group, one that has like minded children and family events. We found this a huge help especially at the beginning.
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